Thursday, May 11, 2006

Kibbutz Adamit, Israel

Oct. 6, 1990
Kibbutz Adamit

Dear Steve & Dale, Shalom! (shalom written in Hebrew)
I'm listening to Sinead O'Connor - by myself. John moved out to another room yesterday, since he said it would make it easier for both of us. I told him in Amerika that my goal was to eventually quit living a lie, going against my conscience, and live spiritually again, fulfilling my reason for living. Well it's all easier said than done. I still have my emotions & my hormones too. We've argued off & on for various reasons. I'm know I'm usually too critical & can be cold & cruel, like saying he's too queenly, idolizes Madonna, trys to appear sweet &
innocent & isn't - sound familiar? - etc. Also he'll want to cuddle & I'm too hot or want my space.... So he's talking about going back to America since he can't stand or handle just being my friend or only a roommate....that I'd love to settle down & quit being a wandering Jew - that I'm basing my whole life & happiness - basically - on the belief Destiny or God or Providence wants me to become successful in the Middle East - with my charts, books, etc. Time will tell. He loved that I "finally" opened up to him. I still can't find Donna. I wrote her mother, who wrote me back also wondering where Donna is. She last called home from Jerusalem 8 wks. ago. I want to move south within a month or so. War looks inevitable. I told John if he's in America & I get killed at least he can say he knew someone "over there." I'm reading a good novel by Maisie Mosco called FROM THE BITTER LAND "A Family Saga of Tragedy, Triumph, Passion and Faith." I'm almost finished, so I got its sequel from the Library tonight called SCATTERED SEED. I watched Tootsie w/John last night. It was really good. Yesterday I got a letter from mom. She said you called her. I fasted a week ago for Yom Kippur. Now is the Feast of Tabernacles. I plan on spending 2 nights w/Miriam this week. I spent 2 there for the "Jewish New Year." I'll close with a copy of a poem I gave to John (on the other side). I work in the avocadoes tomorrow, starting at 5.
David (in Hebrew & English)
Tell Tony, Leslye & Bill, your mom, etc. Shalom please.

I didn't mean to break your heart
But I told you so from the start
I didn't want to cause you pain
But we both know nothing will change
Now there's no sunshine in our eyes
Only cold and rain and sighs
We were together, so we tried
Something was born, something has died
I didn't want to break your heart
But I told you so from the start
I didn't want to cause you pain
But we both know love's no ball & chain
We've gotta give ourselves a chance to grow
"Time heals all wounds," so we've been told
We've suffered the storm, so where's the rainbow?
We've crossed many bridges & watched the water flow
I didn't mean to break your heart
I didn't want to see you cry
I never knew that it'd be so hard
to say goodbye & fall apart...

He's also written me poems.
Maybe I'll remember to send them later.

(Written on back of an Air Mail envelope)
P.S. Shannon will be "13" Oct. 19. Shane turned "11" last month. Punks...I love them!

I'm sure John would say to SEND HIS LOVE.

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