Kibbutz Ramat Yohanan, Restal Hotel, Tiberias, Israel

July 27, '89
Kibbutz Ramat Yohanan
Israel

(1)

Stella, Shalom!

I'm in one of those frustrated moods where you want to do something, but don't want to do anything...
Sometimes I'm so adored, the life of the party, fun & fascinating to people, other times I feel like such a beat dog, like that horrible, disgusting, humiliating feeling you get sometimes when you walk into a bar by yourself. I've gone through heaven & hell here. Hell waiting for my money from mom. She didn't understand the directions I gave Kim so I called her again - collect (it's 2 or 3 times cheaper) - to wire, no to send by express registered mail $200 to Miriam before I wear out my welcome mat. Not w/Miriam but with the kibbutz, some of whom I'm sure are jealous that I eat, enjoy Miriam's air-conditioning & lounge by the Olympic pool while they slave at work. Tomorrow I'm leaving for Teverya (in English it's called Tiberias) on the Sea of Galilee for around 4 days. If the youth hostels aren't full (which they usually are on the weekend) I'll stay in them or abuse my poor VISA again & stay in a gorgeous hotel on the Sea of Galilee I stayed in my first time to Israel in 1980. I also made friends there last fall, in their bar, w/a guy named David who works there. I don't want to "sleep" alone in such an expensive room. I'll be happy when I'm settled in at some kibbutz & after a couple years hopefully my own place. I wish you were here. I think of you so often & laugh at many of our experiences together, or think in various situations "Stella!" I'm so happy or ... - it's crazy. I wrote this poem while staying in Tel Aviv -
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I watched another Sunset -
Alone again - by the Sea
Struggling not to be engulfed
In self-pity
My Life has been too full
To indulge in misery
I'm thankful for all
That I've done and seen
The Surf is pounding now
Against the jetties,
So Angry, so frustrated,
So DEVOID OF PEACE
Striving to get to the Timeless Shore
One Day there'll Be
No more such damn WAR
But presently there's
Only me;
I still wait for another
To Be Made Complete...

I sent postcards to Nick, Dean, Paul (w/jeep), Frederico (the Italian from Rome), John (a surgeon from Manhattan), mom, Ramon, Carl, Mrs. Evans, Hoffmans, Mrs. Goldner, etc.
Miriam & I cried yesterday when she received a letter stating the man in Poland who hid her & saved her from the Gestapo & Holocaust, died. She opened up last week & told me what I hadn't known & how wealthy she was raised, how wealthy she married w/jewellery & furs & extensive rich contacts & travel in Europe & how happy she was, and had a cook for her & her husband & a maid also, & how after Hitler invaded Poland her husband immediately joined the underground buying weapons & insisting she move in w/friends for safety sake & how he was later captured by the Gestapo & murdered in Matthausen, Austria concentration camp & how sick w/grief & pain she was, she so loved him. And how one of the women who risked their lives to help save her later was caught attempting to save others & was murdered herself after being shipped to Ravensbruck concentration camp & how her mother was in the Warsaw Ghetto & sent to the gas chambers in Treblinka concentration camp. She cried when she spoke of how much pain can one take after her husband's death. Miriam just turned 74 about a month ago. I don't know how they handle such hell... She's been ill for the last 2 months & I feel helpless to help her. GIVE ME A DRINK! I bought this horrible alcohol - their 80 proof is called 40 proof & I bought 40 proof vodka & 95 proof alcohol (about 170 proof). I mixed it w/some stuff & tried to drink it & about died! Tastes like rubbing alcohol. I'll try again...
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I'm sure I'll take this letter with me to Teveriya & continue it from there if I'm still in a talkative (writing) mood. This sort of serves as a therapy. So you're Dr. Stella. Maybe Nurse Pity can be your assistant. Scared of that! Give the girl another drink. There's a beautiful Danish girl here I was attracted to, but I see her eyes shine for another, and her German friend likes me (we danced all last fri. night & she gave me a peck on the cheek, how sweet), & she's real nice & all but I'm not interested. Also some girl here from Jerusalem makes me nervous because she's invited me to her room & glows while talking to me. HELP! The other day when I went back to Tel Aviv for a day to get registered for my new kibbutz, I met on the bus from Haifa to Kiryat Ata & then walked w/him to this kibbutz (his new girlfriend lives here) - the most gorgeous guy. He doesn't want to work except to be a model & he's definately model material! His Hebrew name is Ofer (ohfair). I told him I'll be at Kibbutz Sdot Yam, 38805 Israel & he told me he lives atop Mt. Carmel at Kiryat Eliezer, so hopefully we'll meet again sometime soon. Yes.../ I've just taken a break to show Miriam our Florida pictures so she could see who (you!) I was writing to. She said Bob looked like "a fat woman." Ha! One of your pictures she thought you also looked like a woman, and one of Dean & I she said I looked "like his lover"...like such a happy woman! Scream! She said he surely liked how blond I am since he's darker. I've never told her I'm gay, but I'm sure she's not stupid. Her comments aren't meant as critical, just as blunt comments. She's funny. How I wish Dean was off Coke & ... Sigh...Well I best be bookin' for now so I can pack for my adventure tomorrow. Tell Leslye & Bill shalom please. I feel much better now that I've poured out my heart on this lovely paper. I'll continue on latra (as Carla would slay)...
(4)
23245 Holland-Sylvania Apt. 252
Maumee, Ohio 43537 U.S.A.

Shabbat, July 29, '89
Queen! I don't think I'll have enough paper to continue this saga. Where do I begin? The 2 hr. ride here yesterday was most scenic, beautiful hills, valleys & olive & palm trees with goats grazing in quiet fields. I took a sherut (service) here. It's like a Mercedes taxi that fits 8 people & only charges the same as the bus - 6 1/2 shequelim (around $3.00). So arrived w/only around 25 shequelim & VISA. I arrived 10:30 A.M. checked in a mahlon (hotel) called Restal. It's 7 minutes straight to the "beach." All their good beaches you have to pay $5-$7, so I walked under torturous death rays for about 1/2 hr. to a free beach with rocks instead of sand to swim in the Sea of Galilee. I met 6 Druse. They're Arab but have a mystery religion, not Muslim, & they're more faithful to Israel. I write this listening to some Hebrew "rock." Since mom (I believe) accidentally took my swimsuit back to USA, I finally found a Speedo bikini I wanted, tried on & kept on as she did my VISA. Then to my horrifying humiliation around 4 workers gathered around & the boss was instructed by VISA to BREAK my card! I played shocked, innocent & took off the bikini (about to die). I'm glad I paid for 2 nights & breakfast here & they didn't check, but how was I now to otherwise eat & drink?! What if my money doesn't come Sun. & I need to stay here 2 more days... So my nerves were wrecked again, call me Polyester Queen - persecuted for days! Help! But I felt better when I went to their pool here & met about 7 Arabs who work here, wild & crazy, kept trying to impress me in the water like I was the new girl in town (which I am). Later they invited me to their room & we talked. They're from Nazareth. Yusuf has relatives there I met last year. Then after this bronze blond ... charged a drunk amount of Scotch & water to my room. Now what do I do when I check out? RUN! I hope they take my VISA numbers off this tired receipt or I'll be screaming "Stella!" for help. I've got a set of lungs too. So you'll hear me. Bob had the nerve to go to mom's the other day w/my $47.00 phone bill I purposely left him with. Thankfully mom didn't give him $ but told him she'd tell me. Ha! Call her & tell her if he brings it up again I said to sell off a piece of furniture. He'll tell the phone co. he didn't make the calls anyway & would probably take the $ and buy another derelict dress or wicked wig. Ha! Also please make sure you tell mom to also send to Kibbutz Sdot Yam my envelope of papers called PRIEST & KING, my little Bible & Bible Dictionary by SURFACE mail, NOT air - air is too expensive. Surface takes 1-2 months but is cheaper. Call her today so you don't forget & go see those pictures! I'll end for now & go sun for awhile./ Well I'm back. It's 8:00 p.m. I swam in our pool & laid out for about 2 hrs. It's so hot here. I've walked to town 2 or 3 times today. A lot of people stare & smile but nothing else. A number of outdoor cafe waiters smiled at me & asked if I was Italian since I'm wearing a tank top I bought in Venice that says ITALIA. While sitting near the Sea of Galilee, earlier I ate a felafel for 3 shekels (I'm hungry now), this guy from Thailand started to take a picture of his 36 yr. old friend
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from Sri Lanka (Ceylon) sitting next to me, so I started to move & they asked me to stay seated & be in it. I think they liked how fair I am next to their dark skin. Then I talked with them. They're with a group from Sri Lanka, Libya, Thailand, Malaysia, Singapore, etc. who have been sent by their governments to learn about Israel's kibbutzim and moshavim to apply the successful principles in their respective countries to help their people & learn more about farming. I got this paper & used this pen from the desk. I want to ask about staying longer... Otherwise I must leave by noon tomorrow. I'll get up the nerve... I heard something on the TV with President Bush talking about some American held hostage somewhere recently - Lebanon I believe - and reporters asking if the White House has asked for Israel's help yet. No food 'til breakfast tomorrow...ANI RAEV MEOD - that's Hebrew for "I'm very hungry!" How about one of your delicious omelettes girl?! Well I'll take this pen back as an excuse to ask about staying on. God help me!/
Yom Rishon/Sunday, July 30, '89 Well I asked last night & he said to ask I think the owner in the morning. Forget that! Last night I walked to the sea and city center where everyone walks around and sits and eat or drink at innumerable outdoor cafes with music playing everywhere. There's like 6 different cruise boats that take you out on the sea. I've taken them twice in my life. There's one that's especially "hot" - it's 2 or 3 decks and is called the LIDO (beach) - it's a disco w/wonderful American music. When I'm here I yearn for American songs & the wonderful English language, when I'm in the States I hunger for Hebrew. We always want what isn't available or easy to get... Today, naturally, at the desk working is a guy who's been so nice to me and worked in the bar the other night. Now I'll probably be humiliated when I check out and have to figure out how I'll pay my bar tab... I think I'll leave back for Kiryat Ata and stay the night at Simcha's if my money hasn't arrived yet. Please God let it come! Everything is closed here on Saturday, the Sabbath, but everything - schools, banks, etc. on Sunday - since it's really the 1st day of the week and Saturday is the 7th - which we're supposed to be renewed on after a rough week. I think I need a wife... I wish you & Dale were here. We'd all be so dark, walk to death and have a really fun time. Someday... How's Tony? I've also thought several times how Raymond would be fun here if he'd stay off that demon drug cocaine that changes your personality... It looks beautiful again today. I always wake up around 6 and lay in bed 'till 7:30 or 8:00. It's about 8:30 now since I just finished breakfast. The traditional Israeli breakfast is more like a salad - chopped lettuce, tomatoes, cucumbers, onions mixed with somethink like cream cheese, strong coffee, juice and various kinds of fish - yuk!
I stay to our simple American breakfast of bread, butter & jam, coffee (Nescafe - "miracle coffee"), eggs, orange juice, etc.
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Next Sunday I'll arrive, Lord-willing, at my Kibbutz Sdot Yam (pronounced "sehdoht yahm" - "sea Fields" or "Fields of the Sea). I wonder what will transpire between now & then? If my money comes I think I'll go stay in Tel Aviv & go to the beach and/or visit Jerusalem...my beloved City - tho' Miriam keeps telling me to not go to Jerusalem because of potential trouble & it's half Arab & half Orthodox Jews. But God forbid I can't even visit Israel's supposed capital for fear of Palestinian hate-mongers! All the trouble-makers should be thrown out of the country like Rabbi Kahane says. One Day. Also the Jews will one day again control the area where the Gold Dome of the Rock Mosque is and again offer sacrifices preparing for Messiah before the United Europe forces them - for 3 1/2 yrs - to stop. This is where everything is going to happen - first the Storm, then the Rainbow. We have to hang on to the Hope & Comfort of that sure Rainbow. Well I'd better shave & prepare to depart for my next destination - hopefully not jail! C'est L'vie./
Same day/Sunday Thank God I'm now back at Ramat Yohanan. This poor letter has been carted all over. I'll probably mail it from Tel Aviv. I went to the desk & they said I couldn't pay my bar bill by writing my VISA numbers down, that they needed the card or go to the bank if it's good & they'll give you $. I was a wreck...  I then stopped at the Bank in the town - Kiryat Ata near here - and THANK GOD my money mom sent came! So I came here & gave Miriam back 50 shekelim I borrowed, ate & now I'm going to take a nap, wash my hair, pay Simcha her 100 shekelim I borrowed & head for Tel Aviv's beach for 1 week before my new kibbutz. Write me there.
Wildly yours,
The Blond Bomber!